I don't know how many people know this about me, but remembering my past behaviour, I'd say, a lot of people know but I am something I would like to call a MichaelJacksonHolic. Obviously that means that I am addicted to Michael Jackson and I have been for as long as I can remember. Years 2009-2010 it got so bad, that my therapy sessions became all about my obsession with him. Honestly, I don't think people understand how insane I was those years, I had 16 posters of him in my room.
One day, not long ago, just like an alcoholic would, I decided that enough is enough and I decided to make a change. That really didn't mean that I'd be less of a fan, it just meant that I needed to start having control of my own life. One of my decisions was to try as hard as possible, really try to not listen to Michael, look at pictures of him, talk about him, or watch videos with him. Of course there have been exceptions but other than that, I am proud of myself and I believe I've done very well. That was until yesterday though when I was sitting on the bus listening to my Ipod and an MJ song comes on, Human Nature, to be more exact, and as usual I skipped it, but then for some reason I just started singing it to myself, and just as an alcohol would, I thought "Oh, one song won't hurt" but then one song turned into two songs, then three, then the whole Thriller album. Next thing I know I am sitting here watching This Is It (that also explains why I am up and blogging at this hour). Tears are rushing down my face, goosebumps are crawling up my arms and my heart is beating too fast for my own good.
Call me crazy, God knows people have, but I literally love Michael Jackson more than anything. Not just his music which is have-no-words-how-amazing-it-is, but I actually love him. While some people turn to God, I turn to Michael Jackson because to me, Michael Jackson is God. Why, some of you may think? Well here is why: Michael Jackson was black and white. Michael Jackson was a man with a sensitive side and at times he wore more make up than I do. Michael Jackson eventually became an adult, but he was always a child at heart. Michael Jackson was an entertainer, he wrote music, he sang like an angle, his dance moves were so natural that he could've danced down the street and it wouldn't look weird, he could act, but he still did everything in his power to save the planet. Michael Jackson may be dead, but he will always live through his music and genius work. Year 2009, before Michael Jackson died, I had the hardest time of my life and the only thing that kept me going was his lyrics and quotes. And that is why, to me, Michael Jackson is God.
In June, it will be five years ago since Michael's passing. That year had been tough enough for me, and honestly, hearing that MJ, my hero, my God, had died, was one of the worst news I have ever received. Michael Jackson, King of pop, will always live on and despite what people think or say about him, to me, he was perfect and he will always be more than idol to me. Rest in Peace Michael.
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