Getting shit off my chest

I don't like putting feelings out there, especially not on my blog, but where else am I going to turn to? I think it is important at this day and age to share feelings even if it is hard. That is what my problem is, I find it so hard talking because then others would know and others are not allowed to know. Am I the only one who feels that way?
On a hangover day like this however I get slow and tired, and since I don't have the energy to physically do anything, I think instead. Today that is what I have done, I've been alone with my thoughts, my scary, unwelcome thoughts.
I've thought about how I've almost made it a year here, away from the life I grew to love. I've been alone in a house in the middle of nowhere, an hour away from civilization and friends. With not a lot of money and not many people around to laugh with. I don't think people realize how lonely it gets until one is rocking the same boat and the most amazing thing is, I haven't snapped yet. I've thought about how I feel like the only one out there who doesn't want to grow up, because the older I get the more I realize. I realize how this world is filled with hatred such as homophobes and racism and the older I get the more I learn about it and it saddens me. Like the EU elections, I thought we all had learnt something from WWII, 9/11, Jonestown etc but no, we haven't and that scares me. I've thought of how even my near future is completely unwritten, I have no idea where I will be, what I'll do or how. It is all a mistery and the curiousity is driving me crazy.
I'll stop here, I don't want to write more because there still has to be a limit of what I don't share with me on the blog but now I've gotten some of it out, which is important and I have to remember that. But the most important thing to always keep in mind is that no matter what, it will be OK, so remember that. It is all going to be Ok. Always!